I have absolutely no idea where to start. My name is Kristi, I will keep my last name to myself to protect my kids. Maybe to protect myself. I know I truly am alone. I finally ended my marriage in March of 2024. I wanted the divorce for years but was too scared. Not of any violence from my ex, he wasn’t that violent. I was scared to be alone. To have to pay the bills by myself. I was scared of the head games my ex and his family would play with my kids. I was afraid to share my kids with them.
Towards the end of last year (I do not remember exactly when) I got very lucky. My ex got his second DUI in 2 years. He Finally lost his driver’s license. His work is 40 minutes away from home.( everything is really). I could not continue to drive him to work every day. We couldn’t afford it, and I needed to work too. So he started staying at his parents house during the week, they are only 5 minutes from his work and retired. They could drive him. He still came home on weekends for a while but that became too hard to do with life in the way. I was able to file for divorce under the pretext of getting food stamps for myself and the kids if his income wasn’t included. I was even able to file for free! I downloaded papers from a website, and we went to the bank and signed in front of a notary. Then I filed with the court. He signed a sheet saying he agreed with whatever the judge decided, so it was pretty simple from there. It took 2 court visits because I didn’t have all the right paperwork and the judge wanted a parenting class. I took the class, my ex did not. I went to the court dates, my ex did not. I got awarded custody of the 2 kids we had left at home, I said o. The paperwork as for his visitation the kids could see him whenever they wanted. ( they were 14 & 17). I got child support, I only put down his income from a 40 hour week instead of the 55 hour week he usually worked because I knew the second he realized the divorce was real he would quit working that many hours. I was right.
To explain my ex is hard. To meet him you would think he’s the nicest man in the world. And a devoted father and husband who loved his family. Even though he now looked like he would either deal you drugs or kill you. When we met he was mostly clean cut, a little preppy, a little rough. Shorter nicely styled hair, neatly trimmed facial hair. Now, he’s dirty, long greasy hair, pubic hair beard, toothless because he’s scared off the dentist and even a toothbrush. He likes looking like that, like a bum. He thinks he looks cool. I think he’s disgusting.
How did I stay so long? If he’s so bad why did I not leave years ago? Why did I even marry him? He is a master at lies, deception and manipulation. I was a desperate and lonely 18 year old girl who just wanted to be loved.